Checking In

Hello.

I'm not sure how to address you all in light of the fact that I have neglected this blog shamelessly for much too long. Last post I mentioned that I have a few posts that I'm working on in some capacity.

Here are some:

• 'Maestro's Manifesto' --A freakishly long work in progress about politics
  
• 'Respect' --Talking about my unique views on what respect truly means, etc.
  
• 'Y i h8 txt' --A (mental for the time being) rant about the evils of texting and how communication has fallen in recent years
  
• 'No One Wants To Talk About Or Question God ♫' --Talking about how taboo religion has become these days.
  
• Reflection on my encounter with a harmless drunk
  

So, yea. Most of these are fairly serious topics, I'm not sure when the switch happened (probably in Italy) but I am tired of writing the same old day to day narrative bullshit about my banal life, it interests me more to discuss topics such as the ones above.

As it happens I have no drive to discuss any of those topics. In fact, I am only writing this now because I have an unexplained case of insomnia (it's 12:13 AM) and the only other thing to do is do the homework I'm avoiding.

Most of the posts I mentioned are recorded in my ultra-handy pocket notebook. Following the example of my friend (what the hell, girlfriend), I have started to carry around a small notebook in my back pocket to record some of the many random thoughts that occupy my mental faculties over the course of the day.

Seeing as it seems there is nothing better to talk about, let's take a brief look at what's recorded in it:

• Random musings about commenters and song lyrics
  
• "I used to train [karate] to improve my workout, now I work out to improve my training"
  
• Some links
  
• Linux code
  
• "Most People are called their real names by people who don't know them well and nicknames by those who do; I am the opposite."
  
• Simon and Garfunkel lyrics x2
  
• Graffiti-ed page
  
• A blank page with "Hi =)" and the disclaimer saying that the entire page belongs to my girlfriend
  
• 7 pages of notes from a fitness magazine
  
• A tab of expenses from my first trip to the ex this summer
  
• 4 pages detailing the saga of my exclusion from the school network
  
• A note for someone to add "Flooring It" to their bucket list
  
• Some rough logic tables
  
• "exclusion day 6         OMG BLANK PAGE!!!!!"
  
• Cool movie quote
  
• Cool words page
  
• Crime and Punishment quote
  
• Awesome 19-letter last name
  
• Stupid question from history class
  
• EXACTLY 1 WEEK of fucking EXCLUSION
  
• Blog Post: Respect
  
• "I ask not to be woken up, my family agrees that I need to sleep as long as possible, and yet mom still wakes me up."
  
• Depressed rant about how texting doesn't make for good communication
  
• Blog Post: y txt sux y I h8 txt
  
• "one shift. How generous."
  
• More or less the life story of the drunk guy I met on the bus; to use for a post later
  
• "I'm 16, I shouldn't have to worry about money"
  
• Lyrics from Charlie Winston
  
• Quote from a friend
  
• Blog Post: Religion/Society
  
• Einstein quote
  
• Desperation regarding math marks
  
• Charlie Winston lyrics x2
  
• "15 min. late. Unit test. First one done. ←SKILLS."
  
• More desperation on math marks
  
• "So I hugged the boyfriend, so what? Who am I kidding? I'll be avoiding everyone for the next few hours."
  
• "Part of me wants someone to point out all of the bad parts of my personality so I know about them and can be conscious of them. The other part is terrified by the thought of facing them."
  

I'm sure you all really wanted to read about that, but whatever, it's there. I haven't mentioned it, but I do have a temporary (seasonal) job at Party Packagers for a bit. The shift distribution kinda sucks, and it will be getting amazingly busy soon, but the job isn't that bad (I get to wear any costume I want and deal with some cool people), so I am not complaining (too much).

Also in the news: I'm driving! I got my G1 in September and have been driving as much as possible ever since. My mom has an automatic Toyota Rav4 that I usually drive once a day, and my dad has a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 4x4 STANDARD that I am struggling to learn on whenever I can. My dad and I are trying to see if we can figure out a way to get me an old beater that we can fix up before I go for my G2 that we can split ownership of. The search is ongoing and I hesitate to make a commitment before I know exactly how much it will cost me. That being said, there is a promising 1998 Jeep Cherokee listed for $1000.

What else is a big part of my life these days? I think I've covered everything besides my girlfriend. What can I say about her? Well, I could fill pages and pages with words praising everything about her, but you don't want to read that, I don't have the time to write it and I don't think she'd appreciate it very much. Suffice to say she's amazing. I'm still not quite sure how she puts up with me, but in the spirit of thanksgiving, I am truly thankful for having her in my life.

That concludes my ramble for today, I shall try to sleep now to the sound of John Lennon singing into my ear (It was his birthday on Saturday).

Happy Thanksgiving!

-MAESTRO

Sorry :(

I haven't forgotten about you!
I do have several partially formed posts, both on my computer and in my head, but lately things have been crazy, I can only write this because I finished work early in English.

Sorry again,
-MAESTRO

Cineplex

Just want to update you guys, Cineplex posted a job online and I applied.

Adieu,
-MAESTRO

Translation Fun

Here's the game:

Go to Google translate and translate a phrase or paragraph into another language. Then translate it back, see how it changed. As the game goes on you can translate it from one language to another and another and another and so forth until you finally get back to english, it's a great way to kill some time.

I'll be translating this right here, but I want to add some more, so here is a verse from Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin:

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our souls
there walks a lady we all know
who shines bright light and wants to show
how everything still turns to gold
and if you listen very hard
the tune will come to you at last
when all is one and one is all
to be a rock
and not to roll

That should be enough, let's see what happens...

(See the fun after the jump!)

Just Looking

Hey,

Had some post ideas but first I wanna know how many people, if anyone, read this, so just drop a quick comment if you do :)

Thanks,
-MAESTRO

Job Search

So, I'm back blogging again. There are a bunch of things I've thought about writing about lately, but I'm going to ignore all of them for now and detail my search for a job.



For a while now I've been nagging myself to apply for jobs, and my parents have been as well. I always had reasons to put it off, Italy was a big one, but now that I am free and clear I realized it's time to finally do it. This came to light for a few reasons. Firstly, I need spending money. Secondly, what's the point having free time if all of your friends have jobs anyway? And lastly, I want to start saving up some actual money (thoughts of a European post-grad trip).



So I made up my resume and printed off quite a few copies. I've applied to quite a few places:

Read on after the jump...

How I Spent Half My Summer

So I mentioned that I spent July on a trip to Italy. It was with Georgia Hardy Tours, I went with a group of students and took a course while I was there (Classical Civilizations). There was a blog run by the company and written by us students, but I decided to run my own blog to let my friends and family back home know what happened. I got up to day 15 before work and things overwhelmed me. I plan on going back and writing the rest, but it's probably one of those things I always plan to do but never get around to, so for now, here are the ones I wrote, after the jump...

Italia

For those of you who don't already know, I am in Italy for this month.

Actually at the moment I am sipping cappuccino at a Florentine bar, it's amazing here.

Anyway, I have a blog going for my trip, I kept it separate from this one because there are a lot of people who I don't want to find out about this blog who want to read my Italy blog.

I plan on putting all the Italy posts here after my trip, but in the meantime they are here:
My Italian Experience

Ciao!

-MAESTRO

Hehe...Espresso...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

That is all.
-MAESTRO

A Maestro's Warning

I have recently realized something that I figure is my duty to share with you all.

Cap the number of Vodka shots you take at 10 or 15, or you will do/say things that will either get you in momentous trouble that will haunt you for the rest of your life, or alienate people who could have become friends to you. Or both.

Just a tip for y'all.

Later,
-MAESTRO

Maestro’s Adventures in Wonderland

Hey guys,

Sorry for the long absence, it's coming down to the crunch in school and I am slowly being suffocated by the looming work ahead of me. In any case I have a semi-entertaining story for you all (I restrained myself from writing "y'all" right there, be proud of me!) so without further ado…

For those that didn't figure it out, I meant Wonderland, not Wonderland. This past Sunday (May 23) my friends and I (Let's call them Matty and Lowtool) decided to christen our season passes with a trip to Wonderland. I could tell you about the trip minute by minute, but that would probably bore you to death, so I will only highlight the blog-worthy bits.

 

2 Girls, 1 Phone

If you know Wonderland, the three of us were sitting in on the edge of the fountain-pool-place near the entrance when two girls approached us and asked to borrow our phone for a call, their phone died. After a moment's hesitation, Matty gave them his phone, to the reception of a dazzling smile from the one girl. We then began to awkwardly make small talk amongst ourselves as this strange girl used Matty's phone.

Now, the obvious thing to do, and the thing that we were all thinking, would be to ask for their numbers, definitely not out of line. Though we were thinking this, I am not currently in a position where I would be able to do something like that and not feel guilty; Matty was in a similar, though somewhat delusional, situation, so the responsibility fell to Lowtool. This is quite amusing because out of the three of us, he has the least experience with women.

It was a tense few moments while this girl made her phone call, her friend stood awkwardly beside her and Matty and I made small talk while shooting glances at Lowtool who was staring at his shoes. This arrangement was kept up until the girl finished her call and handed Matty his phone back with a "Thank you so much!" seasoned with an accent that was at one time native to Britain, but somewhat acclimatized to Canada. Matty took his phone back with a mumbled thank you and the girls walked off into the crowd.

We spent much of the next half an hour berating Lowtool for not asking for their number. Not that any of us would ever do anything with it, but it would be good to know that we actually could if we wanted to. Either way, it was a wasted opportunity.

 

Some Guys on a Hill

(I was going to call this section "Two Fools on a Hill" after the Beatles song 'Fool on a Hill' but that may offend some people)

On the big hill (near the stage, where people eat lunch) the three of us decided to stop and eat our fries and cookiewiches (they wouldn't get funnel cakes…). As we sat down we noticed two shirtless guys just downhill from us. This wasn't really out of the ordinary as there were a few water rides open. It was a bit odd when one began rubbing sunscreen on the other, and it was really odd when he began focusing on his nipple. We just began to discuss them when one leaned over and gave the other a kiss. At this point the entire hill was focused on them. This continued the whole time we were there, one sat in the others lap and were very intimate. The whole hill was watching them while pretending not to. It wasn't even the fact that they were gay; this would be pushing the boundaries for even a straight couple. Anyway, it was an uncomfortable situation.

 

Trespassing

This anecdote shows the ranking of badassness in our threesome. It ranks as so: Myself, Lowtool, and then Matty in a far third.

In Wonderland there is a Concert Hall that is normally closed to the public. Today though, the gate was slightly ajar.

I convinced Lowtool to come with me to explore while Matty stayed outside the gate texting. As we rounded the path we saw a giant stage with drum kit and everything. It was totally empty. We ran around and explored for a bit before going back to get Matty. Once the three of us were there we explored all around the stage, including the open storage truck in back. We played the drums, jumped around on stage and finally sang into the nonexistent microphone (Lowtool wanted to say he said "Nigger" on the same stage as all these famous people). It was at this point that I saw the first employee walking along the path. I called out and all three of us instantly hid. Once he had moved on we decided to get out of there, and were walking towards the exit when two more employees spotted us and began to walk towards us. We ran.

Our adrenaline was pumping for another hour afterwards.

 

Hell

We had decided to stay past 10 to see the fireworks, which were amazing, and Matty's Dad and little brother came at around 8, parking in the parking lot. After the fireworks we raced to the car, getting there just in time to find a massive hellhole of horns and catawampus vehicles that was once the Wonderland parking lot. Mr. Matty was surprisingly calm for the TWO HOURS it took to get out of there. After about the hour mark, Matty began to act a bit strange. It began when he saw a really fat lady in a car who looked like a minor character in a movie he had seen. He began to freak out saying, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE HER! JUST FUCKING LIKE HER! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!" This sent Lowtool and I into spirals of laughter. He was quiet for a bit until his father pointed out a speed limit sign that was flipped upside down. I paraphrase slightly when I tell you that Matty went on a verbal rampage similar to, "WHAT THE FUCK? DOES NOBODY HAVE ANYTHING FUCKING BETTER TO DO THAN TO FUCKING VANDALIZE THIS FUCKING SIGN? SERIOUSLY!!! WHAT THE FUCK! OH MY FUCKING GOD!" He continued to rant about EVERYTHING.

"WHY THE FUCK IS THE GUARDRAIL WOOD CUT THAT WAY? IF YOU CUT THAT FUCKING END BIT OFF YOU COULD SAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TREE! THINK OF THE FUCKING ENVIRONMENT! MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"WE LEARNED ABOUT CLEAR-CUTTING AND SHIT IN GEOGRAPHY, WHY IS THERE ONE FUCKING TREE OVER THERE, NO OTHER TREES, JUST ONE LONELY FUCKING TREE! WHAT THE FUCK? WHO LEAVES ONE FUCKING TREE? WHAT MOTHERFUCKER LEAVES ONE FUCKING TREE ALONE? WHY IS THAT TREE SO FUCKING SPECIAL?"

"LOOK IN THAT DITCH. ROCKS, FUCKING ROCKS! WHO FILLS THE FUCKING DITCH WITH ROCKS? WHERE THE FUCK DID THOSE FUCKING ROCKS COME FROM? FUCK. CHOOSE, FUCKING GRASS OR ROCKS! ONE OR THE OTHER! FUCKING GRASS OR FUCKING ROCKS, NOT BOTH! WHO PUTS ROCKS AND GRASS? MOTHERFUCKER."

That continued for about 45 minutes while his Dad drove slowly and Lowtool nodded off on my shoulder. I wanted to kill myself.

 

We spent 16 hours out that day. It was fun all in all, but I now know that if you want to see the fireworks, park outside Wonderland.

 

That's it for today,

'Till next time,

-MAESTRO

Well that didn't happen...

Ok, so apparently the only way for me to get any writing done is to use it to procrastinate something else. To catch you up on my situation, I am sitting in business class; I have been back for about 3 days and am supposed to be taking notes. Instead I think I will continue my recount.


You may enjoy this: The internet is down so we are getting the work on a USB stick, when the stick came to me I decided to have a bit of fun with it, so I created a folder called “Private – DO NOT OPEN” and inside created two empty video files called “big.booties.[2001].DiVX.avi” and “girls.gone.wild.[2009].DiVX.avi”. It went around half of the class before someone made a big deal and the teacher saw. Immediately he knew it was me and asked me to remove it. He seemed pretty amused by it, but I have to stay after class, I’m not sure if he will take it in such good humour when the class is gone, I’ll fill you in on what happens later. 


Damn, there is actual work to do that needs to be handed in. Maybe I’ll continue this tomorrow.


One last thing: If you are just joining me, start a few posts back, that’s where this whole thing begins.


-MAESTRO


EDIT: I had to clean out desks after class, it was pretty painless. The teacher admitted that it was funny but that if the kids ended up getting a virus or something I could have gotten in big trouble

My Own Little Slice of Paradise

On an unrelated note, Black Velvet by Alannah Miles is stuck in my head.

Ok, right now I am lying on my bed in the hotel room. I am going to pick up my narrative where I left off. 


First, I should expand on what I was talking about before. I didn't want to write this before because the girl beside me, Jill, was reading over my shoulder (I hate that) and I didn't want to talk about her while she read. 


So, let's go back to the boarding of the plane. We had just learned that my brother and I were 4 rows in front of my parents, totally separated. We go to our seats and get comfortable when this girl (I say girl because she had that naive look about her, she was in her early twenties) found the seat next to me.


|-----------------------|   |----------------------|
|   A   |   B    |   C  |   |    D   |    E   |  F  |
|-----------------------|   |----------------------|


A = my brother
B = Me
C = OMG WTF RANDOM GIRL
D, E, F = Doesn't matter, only there to illustrate seat arrangement


So here comes this girl with a Pink tank top, Lululemon-esque yoga pants, a Gucci purse, a gym bag and a Yoga book who begins arranging her stuff in the seat next to me. Now, if you don't know me it is probably helpful to know that I am not comfortable with people I don't know. I try to avoid contact. For example, I would never stop someone on the street and ask them for directions, if I asked for onion rings instead of fries and got fries at a restaurant, I wouldn't go back to the kitchen and tell them, I avoid...I want to say conflict, but that's not the right word... like that. So here I was, hoping that this girl could care less about me, put in her music and read her book for the entire flight. At first it seemed like I was in luck, she smiled at me and said "Hello" to which I replied in kind (I may avoid situations such as this, but I still know how to act sociable). This didn't last long. Before we even took off she asked me a question which I didn't hear because I had my headphones on (One of those things, if there is someone you don't know who has headphones on, don't try and make small talk with them), but I noticed that she said something so I took one ear out and asked her what she said. "What's that about?" I was confused for a second before realizing that she meant the movie I was looking at on my little screen (which I already discussed). This was an obvious attempt at a conversation because she could have easily found the movie on heir’s and read the synopsis. Evidently I was confronted with a chatty person, one who meets someone and decides it is best to begin a conversation with them instead of leaving them to their own devices. I am NOT one of those people obviously. So I did my best to explain the plot of Shutter Island to this random girl I had never met. She made some comment about the movies probably costing money and I said my brother started one for free; he just had to sit through some commercials. In my tone I was sociable, but not welcoming, I answered the questions and asked counter questions, but it may have been noticeable that I wasn't looking for a real conversation. She continued making odd comments here and there such as "OMG, I love Two and a Half Men! It's hilarious!" or "I should make this a good movie, I won't have any movies for a month!” all of which I replied to with an appropriate response without delving further into her personal affairs. It wasn't 'till I took out my laptop to type my last post that she attempted to start a conversation by commenting out of the blue that her "iPod wouldn't sync with her laptop" and "If I had any ideas why that was." Either all teenagers are inherently techy in the eyes of those not so technologically inclined, or I just came across as a nerd. Either is possible. Or both maybe. Either way she eventually decided it would be best if she took out her laptop and iPod so I could show her what I was talking about. She booted up Vista (ew) and logged on to her account (by which I found out her name, it was Jen). As her desktop appeared I was surprised not to find the girly desktop I had expected (she had previously proclaimed that her favourite colour was pink, in case I couldn't tell), instead it was this picture. Yes, I actually went and looked for it on the internet. I had to, simply describing it wouldn't express the surprise I felt when I saw this as her background. And no, this wasn't a picture she just found while surfing and liked, you had to go in-depth on some unsavory sites to find this picture. What surprised me most of all was that she didn't seem embarrassed or try to make excuses, she didn't acknowledge her suggestive desktop or the fact that one of her gadgets was a slideshow of pictures of herself in either low cut tops or bikinis. Despite this, I tried to help her resolve her iPod issue (more of an iTunes issue actually), but to no avail (It probably didn't help that I was mostly focused on the episode of the Pacific that was occupying my eyes and the ear that wasn't facing Jen). Eventually she put her laptop away and began to fill out the immigration form that everyone received. I read the sheet over her shoulder (bad, I know, but she read my blog post!) and learned that she was staying in the Bahamas for a month to stay with a Swami to study yoga in an Ashram. Those familiar with yoga and Hinduism will recognize this. It is kind of like a secluded group that spends most of their time meditating and following the words of a leader, kind of like a cult, but usually for naive young people looking for a new lease on life. That may sound cold and cynical, and I am sure there are many legitimate ashrams and Swamis out there, but many are simply in the business to make easy money off of impressionable young people. Plus, Jen didn't strike me as the genuinely spiritual person. She had the book, the crystal necklace and the homeopathic remedy, but she seemed like someone hoping for an easy answer. She didn't exactly paint a picture of the perfectly humble student ready to toss off all worldly possessions at a moment’s notice with her Gucci bag, pink iPod and Sony laptop. I said all of this in my head, but not to her because she hadn't even brought up the subject. Even if she had brought it up, I probably would have played dumb and gotten her to explain it all to me. I am usually happier when someone else is talking, and people LOVE educating people about things they know about. But anyway... we made small talk off and on 'till we landed, never touching on her spiritual beliefs or her apparent narcissism/lesbianism. She did remark once that she was looking forward to not having any drama for a month. This only solidified my theory that she resorted to this belief as a refuge. Though I had said cynical view of her, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her when she remarked that she had absolutely no idea where she was supposed to go after the airport. I still felt bad for her when I saw her in the line at customs, looking strikingly alone in the crowd. You may think this is the part where I invite her to stay with us, start a surprising and taboo relationship with her (her being bisexual, not a lesbian) and I am writing this to tell you that I am abandoning my family and friends to spend a month in a Bahamian ashram. Well, you would be wrong. I haven't seen her since then and I don't really want to. I wish her well in her life. 


Wow, I just rambled for that long about the random girl I met on the plane. This is going to be a long post.


Ok, this is the part where I apologize to my friend for calling her a 'baby hater' because she doesn't love every small child she meets. I guess I have just had the good luck to be associated with amazingly well behaved young children. That changed today. There were two little girls sitting behind me and over the course of the (thought I felt a spider on me, can't be sure I didn't. I am freaky paranoid now) flight had 6 meltdowns in total and kicked the back of my chair countless times. I love children a little less now.


After leaving the plane we made the 10 minute walk from the gate to the immigration area. On the way, most of the walkways were in the open air, where we could feel the pressing Bahamian heat, with the warm breezes coming off of the ocean. It was glorious, especially after the plane ride. In the immigration line we were all in awesome moods (except for my Dad, he was craving a smoke) so we were joking back and forth. At one point my brother remarked that it would be extremely difficult for Mr. T to get past immigration and customs. To quote my little brother, "The guy would ask, 'What is the reason for your stay?' and Mr. T would be all like, 'I pity da foo who ask u nutha nosy question!'" This amused me to know end. One thing that is striking about the Bahamas is that everyone is friendly. Not just "O, it's my job to act friendly so I am smiling" kind of friendly, but genuine, happy to be alive friendliness. It's like a black Newfoundland. We had a shuttle from the airport to the resort, so we got to see some of the beautiful city of Nassau. The first thing I noticed once we started to drive was that they drive on the left hand side (as does much of Europe), but their drivers seats are still on the left side (as with American cars). The next thing I noticed was the reckless driving in the city streets. This is nothing like you would ever see in Canada (I imagine it is close to what Indian traffic is like). There were cars honking, parking, weaving in and out, speeding, barely moving, etc. The driver said this is a good day, we should see it on Sundays. We are taking the shuttle back to the airport. On Sunday.


It is nearing midnight and I must sleep or my parents will kill me. Hopefully I will continue this post tomorrow night, with additions from my day tomorrow.


-MAESTRO

Sky High

For the time being, I think this wins hands down for the post written at the highest altitude. I am at the moment somewhere over the northeastern United States, just leveling off at a very comfortable 3500 ft above sea level. 


There are those who dislike flying, even hate it, but to be honest, I really enjoy it. 


This morning wasn't the perfect morning by far. Though our flight was at 9:30, my parents decided that they wanted to leave the house at 6:30 sharp. I made sure I packed everything, showered and set my clothes out the night before so I could sleep as much as possible this morning. My parents decided to do me a favour and get me up with an hour to spare so that I could "wake up before we leave". It was not fun. I was ready in 10 minutes and spent the other hour pretending to be busy so that people didn't ask me to do things. That sounds really bad but I was in a crappy mood (I always am in the mornings, I am NOT a morning person). There was some tension between my mom and me as we left but that's not important. We got to the airport at around 7:10 to the sultry sounds of the announcer telling us that the check out system is down and check in may be slower than usual. When they say slower they mean that the attendants stood there for half an hour while the system was fixed. After we got through the baggage check we made our way to security. People should have enough common sense to know what to do at security. There are signs posted everywhere and (OOOOOH, Mississippi river!) people should figure out that it is not a good idea to walk through the metal detector with your blackberry, iPod, PDA and a pockets full of loose change. Anyway, once you get past security there is that awesome moving walkway, it feels like you are some sort of superhero walking that slow, but that fast at the same time (Yes, I know I have no life). Once you get to the gate is when the real fun starts, you have all the restaurants and Duty Free shops, I Iove it. Free wifi, timmies, comfy seats, it's nice.


Then comes the plane. Last 2 times I flew it was with WestJet. I dislike WestJet. Heartily. All of their entertainment costs money (There is a credit card slot in the back of the seat) and there is no leg room. At all. This time we are flying with Air Canada who has tons of legroom and the most complete entertainment system you could imagine. It has a huge selection of TV shows, movies, music, games, satellite radio, etc. All free. Right now I am charging my laptop in the back of the seat while typing this, eating an Aero bar and watching Avatar. This isn't even first class, even the thought of the first class seats makes my mouth water.


That’s about where I am now, on my way to sunny Atlantis, Paradise Island in Nassau, Bahamas, looking over the beautiful American countryside.


'Till later,
-MAESTRO

I Am Alive

Hey all,


Don't worry, I haven't disappeared from the face of the earth yet (I showed those aliens who's boss).


In my absence I visited the Bahamas (Dad had a business conference, barely paid). I started to write some of my memories down while I was there. I was going to post it then, but I was trying to relax and I didn't want people to know that I had communication potential, even if it was intermittent. 


Anyway, I shall post what I have so far (2 posts) and hopefully I will force myself to write up the rest of it soon.


Enjoy,
-MAESTRO

Upon This Rock I Will Build My...Gym?

Ok, so today my family and I went to a friend of the family's first communion (Mom is her Godmother).
My Dad and I weren't very ecstatic to be sitting for two hours in a stuffy church not understanding anything that is said (It's a french church). We followed the directions and found ourselves in a school gym with metal folding chairs set up in the place of pews. So, instead of sitting respectfully through the service, Dad and I decided to mock the entire service shamelessly. Here are some excerpts from our conversations:


Me: What do we do about kneeling? There are none of those knee-rest thingies.
Dad: This is a hardcore church, they use the floor.


Me: I thought you would have taken the opportunity and taken a while in the 'bathroom'
Dad: Didn't want to miss the cannibalism, are we eating Christ yet?


Dad: Dammit, they blocked cell reception,  it's a conspiracy to make us pay attention!


Dad: How long has it been?
Me: About an hour.
Dad: Is it half-time yet? Intermission?


Dad: [gesturing to the lady in front of us] I dare you to pinch her butt. 
Me: What? You're crazy.
Mom: What did he say? 
Me: He dared me to pinch her butt.
Mom: Hahahaha...I dare you.


Me: What do they need donations for? Gym upkeep?


Me: Is it snacktime yet?


Dad: The only reason they make us sit and stand so much is to keep us from falling asleep. It works too, interrupted a nice nap...

Mom: Where is she?

Me: Over there, in the lunch line.

Dad: O great, we get to go to a party with the guy who has a cross tattooed on his neck.

Mom: Better to have him with you than against you. I knew him growing up, and he used to chase me with a two by four. 

Me: HA! Did it have nails in it?

Mom: Yes, it did actually.

Mom: Stop guys, you are being disrespectful to the... Gym...

Dad: This is around the point where your grandpa and I used to sneak out.

Me: Just take a break for a bit?

Dad: No, we'd wait until there were 2 minutes left before slipping back in.

Dad: Can you understand what that says?

Me: Yea, you want me to translate?

Dad: No, just tell me if it means "Prayer of Ending"

Me: Did they say "Menage a trois, seigneur Jesus?"

Mom: No! "Louange a tois, seigneur Jesus."

Dad: Hehe, menage a trois!

Sometime around then Dad and I descended into uncontrollable giggles (Which are worse in a Catholic Mass than business class apparently) and Mom had to split us up.

Sorry if I have offended any people out there, it wasn't my intention, but then again, you don't have to read this blog if you don't want to.

Paix avec vous 

(paixsdfsdfsadfsnkjljlijkljlklkj)

-MAESTRO

Maestro and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Title being from a children's book I used to love, not from my imagination


So today I had a pretty shitty day. Or so it felt.
I won't be offended if you choose to skip this post, it will probably be filled with my awkward ramblings.

Before School

Every Thursday at around 7:20 my dad and I go to the chiropractor. Today, same as every day, my mother gets me up and tells me to get in the shower right away, I don't want to make us late for chiro.

In the shower, I notice a spider crawling along the wall. I HATE spiders. This was near the end of my shower, which is good because I am almost done, so I can rush out, but bad because it means that it has been there the whole time without me noticing. As soon as I am out I grab some toilet paper and squish the damn thing. Even though it is gone, I still get the creeps. I brush my teeth in the hall and everything, spending as little time in the bathroom as possible. This just makes me mad with myself, I know that it is stupid to be so creeped out by such a tiny thing, but still I check all of the walls of whatever room I enter and shake my clothes out before wearing them.

After my shower and all the other morning stuff, I find out that my dad is not even close to being ready, he hasn't even showered yet.

As I find this out my mom puts my lunch by the door and my breakfast in my hand. Today is, oh, what a surprise, the same thing I have had every school day for a month. I should never tell my mom I like something. It is a dinner roll toasted with cheese inside. Usually I get it on my way out the door and manage to choke down a few bites at school. Today I can't bring myself to eat it at that time, so I put it on the table beside me and huddle up in the armchair.

I stay huddled up for more than 15 minutes before my dad gives me a choice of going to chiro and being late for school or skipping chiro. I give a noncommittal answer and he decides we will go straight to school. I get to rest for 5 more minutes before we leave. So glad I woke up early.

When I get to school I get a call from my mom telling me that I left my lunch and breakfast uneaten at home. Something about not appreciating the work she does for me. I let her rant for a bit before mumbling a semi-coherent apology and hanging up. I then decide I should study for my science test second period that I had just found out about and didn't know the material well at all. I boot up my laptop to find that the files I need are stored on the school's website. The one I can't access in school. Great. I give up and buy myself an ice cream sandwich for breakfast (Healthy, I know).

By now I know my day is fucked. I find some of my friends to learn that most of them are in strikingly good moods. Yay. I wander around for a bit before the bell rings, signaling my next fate.


Classes


So, first period...
I spend the entire computer period pulling together notes and trying to familiarize myself with the material on the science test instead of starting my project (Due Monday). The girl beside me was told that she smells like a mixture of shampoo and cigarette smoke. She doesn't like this, so many times she sprays herself liberally with her perfume. Then with a guy's cologne. Guess who got the extra bits of all this spray? Me.

Second Period
Yay. Science test. How fun.
As it turns out, I was right to worry about this test. What I was wrong about was what to cram for. The subject I spent the last period studying counted for two questions on the entire test. The subjects I didn't study counted for much more. After the test, I got out my laptop and decided it was about time to clean up my files. I started to delete unwanted files and soon realized that I deleted my pictures from this summer's vacation. They were gone for good.

Third.
I spent the first half of the class tuning out my teacher and finishing the cleanup of my files. At around the halfway mark, I learned that we are getting an assignment that we need to hand in at the end of class. I quickly found my friend and partnered up with him. I soon learn that the other day he got fed up with all of his antivirus warnings, so he uninstalled it. He is now plagued by multiple scareware programs. So, there was the better part of my business class, spent cleaning up his laptop, just throwing together the assignment at the end. Sometime during that mess I learned that I was getting a mark less than my standard and had good learning skills, except for one N. I don't get lower than G. That will be fun to explain to my parents.

Fourth.
Probably the least horrible of the periods, I was on lunch.
I had come to the conclusion that it wouldn't help me to wallow in my crappy mood, it would either incite pity, which I despise, or cause people to intentionally annoy me. Instead, I faked a smile the whole time and suggested we play cards. We played through lunch and I successfully covered my urges to scream at people with my smiling facade.

Fifth.
The end of the day was so close and yet so far.
I had missed two days of Shakespeare reading before and found myself without my book. I faked reading by reading my novel in my desk. I found out that the novel study I misunderstood and subsequently failed was going to count in my midterm mark, even though I am allowed to redo it. I also found out that my normal mark is less than satisfactory. I also found out that I have to work on another project this weekend (making three). This project is with a partner who, without informing me, volunteered us to present first.


After School


On my way to the place where my mom picks me up I met up with my friend. It seems she had a pretty shitty day as well. I tried to help cheer her up but it seems my facade was wearing a bit thin. After she left, I waited 15 minutes in the heat until my mom came to pick me up. I was a bit annoyed about having to wait, but I thought about the whole "I am privileged to get a drive after school and not have to take the bus or wait an hour" thing, so I kept my mouth shut. I was looking forward to going straight home and relaxing for the 30 minutes before my karate class. My mom told me we had to pick my brother up from his school dance. This was annoying but not unbearable. When we went in, my mom started to talk and told me to go into the gym and get my brother. I wasn't really comfortable with that, and I think my mom saw that but she asked me to go anyway. After I got him, she told us to wait in the car and that she would be out in a few minutes. 15 minutes of boiling, uncomfortable waiting in the car proceeded while we counted down the minutes until our karate class. By this time I was thoroughly pissed. I got home, got changed, refused food and curled up on a couch for 5 minutes until we had to leave for karate. My mom noticed that I had stopped pretending to be happy and was openly pissed off. I ignored her. Karate was uneventful, more of the same, people pissing me off for no reason, me pretending I was ok.


So, that was my day. Fun, eh?

Now I am looking at GO bus schedules trying to find the right time to take a bus to downtown Toronto. My friend and I are going to see the Toronto Rock tomorrow after school. Which, given my luck, will end up with us both in terrible moods and, yea. There is always hope though, right?

There was my day.
If you read this far, you must have no life.

-MAESTRO

Moongina

Sometimes the internet scares me:

We are so cool.

So, today my friends and I found this scrawled on a blackboard in a classroom, we thought it was so awesome that a picture was needed. That's right, we are nerds, deal with it.

Toronto Rock

Hey all (I can say that now ‘cause I have FOLLOWERS!),
I’m sorr- actually no, I’m not sorry for not posting for a while, I have a life (well, that’s a bit of an overstatement, but still)

Anyways, on Saturday (April 3rd) I went with my family to see the Toronto Rock Lacrosse Team play at the Air Canada Centre. I had seen them once before when I was 8 years old, which I vaguely remember.

If you have never seen professional lacrosse, you are really missing out. Even if you aren’t a sports person (I’m not), lacrosse is fun, fast and easy to follow. There is a really short season, from January to April. Compared to other sports at the ACC, it was really affordable. There are 2 main sections in the ACC, the lower bowl and the upper bowl. For the lower bowl it is $80 for adult tickets, $32 for student or senior (Student being 15 and under). The upper bowl is $32 for adults, $16 for students/seniors. So for a couple of teenagers it is a pretty affordable night out, bus down straight to Union Station, grab a street dog for lunch, watch the game and bus it back.

Lacrosse is a fairly unique game in respect to its lax rules on fighting. There were many brutal hits and trips during the game, even in areas where the ball wasn’t. Probably the most hilarious antics is seeing one player run down the field with the ball while another follows right behind him, hitting him repeatedly with the net of his stick, it was like someone had taken the scene straight out of a bugs bunny cartoon.

Here are some random cell pics from the night.

I HATE typos on professional signs. (If you can’t read, it says “Open Eveyday”)

Some call it art. I call it giant testicles. 

We were 5 rows up, we could read the players lips as they swore.

Who wants plain old foam fingers when you can get 3D ones?

The Toronto Rock have their own cheerleaders, the Hot Rocks.

I like cheerleaders :)

My school doesn’t have cheerleaders by the way. Sucks, I know.

That’s the one my mom and I picked out for me. My family is awesome.

That’s all for this latest installment of my random blog posts.

‘Till next time,

-MAESTRO

12 Hours In My Mind

Well, today I decided to write down my random thoughts from 8 A.M. until 8 P.M.

They aren't very interesting or relevant to anything, but here goes.


So turn on, tune in, drop out and enter the crazy world of my mind.

First, watch this intro, pretty much sums up the trip you are about to take.

• Don't try to cover up cigarette smoke with perfume. It doesn't work.
  
• Hugs are better un-rushed…
  
• When you say "who/what" I don't think you pronounce the slash
  
• Okay, so the 10 commandments were carved into stone. But the whole Torah? That would take forever
  
• Hmm, Jews don't say God's name to show him respect. Interesting.
  
• ♫ 'Cause it's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll ♫
  
• Put some clothes on
  
• Wow, she makes a convincing guy
  
• WTF? *
  
• Showtime!
  
• DJ Rabbi D at your service!
  
• "75 seconds? I can do a whole minute!"
  
• If I ripped off your legs, why would it matter if I put them in hot lava** or not?
  
• 12 is a nice, even number
  
• That was a polite way of saying "I don't want to come!" Obviously you didn't get that.
  
• Much better un-rushed
  
• I don't think you can say "cup of latte"
  
• Wow, 2^nd page. I have no life.
  
• What would the world look like if nobody had eyebrows? Woah, freaky. What is the purpose of eyebrows? They don't actually serve a purpose do they?
  
• Seeing as this is none of your business please stop reading over my shoulder. Thanks.
  
• Eets b-e-a-u-tiful outside!
  
• I guess some people are just deaf.
  
• Shit, we have to hand that in?
  
• I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts-DO YOUR WORK!
  
• ♫ Hard row to hoe all by yourself ♫
  
• Didn't know anyone could possibly complain that much
  
• Lean back and you have a cushion
  
• How hard would you have to push to get a pen through your eye into your brain? ***
  
• A year is longer than a semester. Dumbass.
  
• If you are going to insult someone, at least do it properly
  
• Do bongs get hot when used?
  
• Fifth period was designed to kill my mood
  
• How long would you go to jail for stabbing someone in the leg with a compass?
  
• Beatles had Apple first…
  
• EARTHQUAKE!
  
• ♫ When she moves my brain screams out this song. HELLO!♫
  
• Candy machine jelly beans taste nasty
  
• Why? Why why why why why why why?
  
• Should I write this from a Nazi point of view? That would generate an interesting response…
  
• Well that was fun.
  
• When in a shitty mood, hugs help and ice cream helps, but together they can fix almost any mood.
  
• I wonder if you can shot-put a weight…
  
• I just tried to snooze my phone
  
• It's 4:12 and I can't keep my eyes open
  
• Blah
  
• I hate it when people speak acronyms. ****
  
• It is hard to match the epicality of an 8-year-old screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" during a dodgeball game
  
• What if our eyes weren't in our head? Our perception of the world would be totally different
  
• I can feel time passing. Freaky.
  
• ♫ Look out of my window; Still rainin' ♫
  
• Less talking. More music.
  
• ♫ I look at the world and I notice it's turning, while my guitar gently weeps ♫
  

Thanks for joining me during that 12 hour trip through my thoughts. That was pretty pointless but oh well…

-MAESTRO



*pronounced "dubbuyewtieyff" as in this video

** speaking of which, is there any other kind of lava?

*** This wasn't a depressed sentiment, though I have those moments, it was more of a morbid curiosity

**** e.g. "Oh emm gee" in real life. Makes me want to strangle them.

Sons of Anarchy

Ridin' through this world

All alone.

God takes your soul,

You're on your own.

The crow flies straight;

A perfect line.

On the Devil's bed

'Till you die

This life is short,

Baby that's just fine.

Better live it right

'Cause you aint comin' back.

Gotta raise some hell,

'Fore they take you down.

Gotta live this life!

Gotta look this world

In the eye.

Gotta live this life

'Till you die.

You better have soul

Nothing less.

'Cause when it's business time

It's life or death.

The king is dead,

The light goes on.

Don't lose your head

When the deal goes down.

Better keep your eyes on the road ahead.

Gotta live this life.

Gotta look this world in the eye.

Gotta live this life

Until you die.

Those are the lyrics to This Life by Curtis Stigers & The Forest Rangers.



So those weren't just random lyrics (I may do that from time to time though), that is the theme song to my favourite T.V. show, Sons of Anarchy.

It follows the trials and tribulations of the fictional Sons of Anarchy, a 1% motorcycle club (Bike gang) operating in southern California.



Now, yes this show has awesome music:

- I was listening to this song on repeat all day yesterday.

- This song is pretty awesome too

But SOA also has a really good plotline, not to mention well written.

It has all the classic bike gang activities; gun running, gang fights, hits, etc.

But it also has some internal drama, a Hamlet-esque subplot involving a dead father and an usuper.



The show airs on the FX network, I don't get it and I don't even know if you can get it in Canada. Even if I could find it on T.V. it isn't the kind of show my parents would appreciate watching. So, I am stuck downloading the episodes as they come out. My sincere apologies go to Kurt Sutter, the writer of the show who has ranted on his blog about people illegally downloading his shows, but I have no choice.



That all being said, this show isn't for everyone.

The show is labeled MA for a good reason.



First of all, the language. There are 2 swear words they don't say; cunt and fuck. But other than that, they say everything. All the time. I think in one episode I counted 15 "pussy" and 12 "nigger" references.



Second of all; the sex. Technically, there is no actual nudity, because seeing a naked woman with a man's hands covering her nipples is technically not nudity, but there are plenty of sex scenes, all kinds as well, from bathroom sex to hooker sex. Also one of the main settings in the second season is a porn studio, and everything associated with it.



Lastly, violence. Now, I consider myself fairly assimilated to violence. I watched Pulp Fiction without flinching, etc. But this has made me cringe quite a few times. I don't want to give anything away, but if you can watch a bullet being extracted, initials being carved into dead bodies and someone's back being covered in whiskey and lit on fire, you're all set.



If you still are interested in watching this, either download them all yourself, watch them online, or ask me and I can give you the first two seasons. The third season is slotted to come out right around my birthday (September) and I can't wait.



Thanks for reading,

-MAESTRO

 

A 12-Hour Road Trip

So my brother overcame some obstacles this past term and pulled off an awesome report card and my parents wanted to take him out for lunch to celebrate. When she asked him randomly the other day what his favourite restaurant was he replied "The Cracker Barrel". As you may know, there are no Cracker Barrels in Canada, so as a surprise for him we spent the day driving the 2 and a half hours to one just outside of Buffalo. While we were there we stopped and shopped a bit, here are some pictures from the day.

Please excuse the quality, I only had my phone on me.

First, maybe the best restaurant I know, here is my Cracker Barrel Lunch:

1. Sourdough - Probably the best sourdough I have ever had that wasn't handmade
2. Cornbread - Real down-south cornbread, it has some ingredient that gives it a special taste
3. Biscuit - Imagine the Popeye's biscuit, but without the dry floury texture and the saltiness, this practically melts in your mouth.
4. Raspberry Lemonade - I have never seen this outside of the southern U.S. (With the exception of Cracker Barrel) and it is a really odd yet comforting combination
5. Chicken 'N Dumplings - Probably the closest you can get to comfort food outside of your mother's kitchen. The dumplings slip down warm and the comforting warmth just spreads throughout your body as you swallow. My favourite meal to have at the Cracker Barrel, perhaps at any restaurant.
6. Macaroni 'N Cheese - This is without question my favourite of the massive list of sides available. This isn't some KD mac and cheese from a box, this is down home mac 'n cheese straight from the pot.
7. Steak Fries - While their fries are excellent and seemingly fresh cut, this second side can be replaced with any of many excellent choices. Usually one of the vegetable choices. I am not usually one who enjoys vegetables but with their smoked carrots or brown sugar green beans, not even a strict meatararian such as myself can resist. Unfortunately today I wasn't in the veggie mood, so I stuck with the ever popular steak fries. 
8. Peg Game -  While definitely not a food item, no Cracker Barrel Meal is complete without this classic game. The object is to get rid of all but one peg, you get rid of pegs by hopping them, like in checkers. Every table has a set and they are for sale in the store. 

Like I mentioned, there is an attached store with all sorts of odd, unique things.

Here are a few of them:

Here is a set of Gumby and Pokey action figures. They are from an old claymation show, it's pretty awesome. We have a set of these at my house and me and my friend enjoy setting them up in weird action poses around my living room, I'll post pictures at some point if I remember.

Hershey Bars in the original packaging!

Some of the old toys they have including the original Slinky, 8-ball and Jacks.

 A set of magnetic salt and pepper shakers in the form of Sally kissing Linus. Just an example of the random nick nacks you find here.

They had a whole stand of individual jelly belly flavours.

Outside of every store they have these rockers and checkers sets set up, the rockers are for anyone to sit on, it is a pleasant atmosphere, some music, good food in your belly, sitting in a rocking chair playing checkers while eating some candy you just bought. Of course the chairs are also for sale, we have been debating getting one for years. 

And some other stuff from the day: 

An awesome game I found at Barnes and Noble called "Dirty Minds". 

The point of the game is to guess the item from the clues, except the clues sound very suggestive but describe a non-sexual item. See the pics for examples.

I love this game because me and my friends have extremely dirty minds and this is the kind of game that would amuse us for hours. I debated buying it, but it would be too hard to justify to my parents.

GRAMMAR NAZI TIME!

So bad grammar on ads is somewhat of a pet peeve of mine.

I found this ad about 15 minutes past the border after we had crossed back into Canada.

For those that can't read it it says: "I  want something fresh, healthy and taste great."

How the hell does something like that get approved? How did so many people miss it.

Ugh. Stupid people annoy me. 

Anyway, thats it for this post.

Thanks for bearing through that journey through my day.

Next time you are in the states make sure to stop at a Cracker Barrel, they are everywhere.

'Till next time,

-MAESTRO

P.S. HAHA GLITTERBUG I HAVE HELVETICA. I WIN. AT LIFE.

Template Change!

Ok, so as you must have noticed, I have changed my template!

I tried to change it before, but I couldn't find the perfect one online, and while I have significant coding experience, I am not good with aesthetic design so I just stuck to the redesigned templates.

That was before, now Blogger released a template editor so I can truly customize my template and layout. I will probably keep on tweaking things until I get them perfect, so don't be alarmed if the look changes  frequently, I'll probably settle on a good one sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, feel free to comment and give me some feedback.

Thanks Blogger Team!

-MAESTRO

I Love XKCD

Ok, so my favourite* place on the web at the moment is a web comic called XKCD. There is some language but as long as you don't mind that or lots of random math, you will love it.



There are about 700 comics to date, if you are bored one day, start at one, and just read through them all. A hint is to read the alt-text (little messages that appear over images when you hold the mouse over them), they are hilarious. So, without further ado, here is a whole shitload of my favourites.



http://xkcd.com/233/

http://xkcd.com/553/

http://xkcd.com/503/

http://xkcd.com/512/

http://xkcd.com/513/

http://xkcd.com/518/

http://xkcd.com/526/

http://xkcd.com/530/

http://xkcd.com/533/

http://xkcd.com/543/

http://xkcd.com/549/

http://xkcd.com/557/

http://xkcd.com/642/

http://xkcd.com/657/large/

http://xkcd.com/696/

http://xkcd.com/15/ < === my new desktop

http://xkcd.com/487/

http://xkcd.com/492/

http://xkcd.com/380/

http://xkcd.com/385/

http://xkcd.com/391/

http://xkcd.com/396/

http://xkcd.com/400/

http://xkcd.com/406/

http://xkcd.com/414/

http://xkcd.com/428/

http://xkcd.com/435/

http://xkcd.com/252/

http://xkcd.com/256/

http://xkcd.com/259/

http://xkcd.com/274/

http://xkcd.com/276/

http://xkcd.com/290/

http://xkcd.com/291/

http://xkcd.com/293/

http://xkcd.com/462/



ok, I have about 20 more on my list, but I realize nobody is going to actually click all of these, so just take my word and explore the site.



'Till next time,

-MAESTRO

*this is an exaggeration, I couldn't spend as much time on xkcd as I do other places, but I still love** it. 
**apparently by saying this I am breaking the first commandment, but I don't care, it's worth it